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July 31 2nd Degree - The Journey KontinuesJason and Steve knew I was reluctant to go the hospital to get checked out. They were prepared to escort me there themselves. I told them, "I'm not going to see the doctor, it's a waste of time!" I was kidding, I knew this was beyond my pain threshold, but dammit, I can't let them know I'm taking their advice!
Kristin originally drove us to the immediate care near our house, but they didn't take my insurance carrier. The next closest place where I could get care was St Vincent's hospital. So, to the emergency room I went. We walked through the hospital doors, and I scanned the waiting room, expecting a ridiculously long wait, and was pleased to see that not many people were waiting. Turns out, I was wrong, there was another corner filled with people.
They gave us a pager, and told us someone else would talk to us to determine priority shortly. In this way, the hospital was exactly like an Olive Garden! I got into the "waiting" examination area, and when asked on a scale of 1-10 where my pain was, I told her honestly it was about a 7-8, understanding that passing a kidney stone is considered a "10," this was nowhere near how I imagined that must feel. Still bad though, and I cracked a joke to the effect with the diagnostician. Again with the waiting, and we were called up again to fill out insurance forms. About an hour had passed since the original injury.
My heart beat hard in my ears, one beat per second, time passed. Kristin and I sat down across from a gentleman who appeared to have severed the tip of his ring finger, sitting with someone whom we assumed to be his 30 year old daughter. Curious, we asked them how long they have been waiting, and they said they arrived only about 15 minutes ahead of us. I was relieved when they got called back, confident we would see the doctor in about 15 minutes, and I would get some sort of pain killer. Kristin was concerned, and asked me if we should maybe ask if we can get something for the pain? I declined, knowing that 15 minutes was a short period of time, and other people in the room were there before us as well. I joked with the man who had the hurt finger, and said, "It was supposed to be a second degree black belt test, not a 100 degree black belt test!" I was, of course, referring to the 97 degree day we were having outside.
A half hour later, Kristin asked again if she should ask for a pain remedy for me, for I was alternating between wincing and laughing. I'd occasionally think of something funny, and it would take my mind off of the pain for a little bit, and I'd laugh out loud (yes, it may have been maniacal laughter). Then I'd curse myself for not having Milt re-set my shoulder before leaving the school. Plenty of people at that school could have set the shoulder, but for some reason, my mind kept wandering to him, as I felt I could rely on him. Then I'd go back to chuckling, as some new thought entered my mind. Kristin set off in search of Diet Coke and a snack, but returned disappointed. Apparently, this was a Pepsi-Only hospital.
I watched as some people who were seated long after we arrived were called back to the examination rooms. I became a bit upset. I watched as they admitted a woman who, when entering the waiting room a full half hour after I did, had sat down, chatted on her cell phone animatedly and cheerfully, and sneezed twice with no other apparent issues. For the third time, Kristin asked me if I wanted her to ask about a pain killer, and I finally I gave in. The muscles in my shoulder were spasming and causing an indescribable amount of pain. We had waited, by this time, about 2 hours total since the actual injury. As Kristin walked towards the front desk, Jason and Steve came into the hospital, and sat down across from me. They had completed administering the black belt test for Dylan and Caitlin, and went to the first care facility they could think of where I might be. It was really good to see my friends.
I told Jason I thought the arm was dislocated, and Jason said "From my understanding, if your arm was dislocated, you wouldn't even be able to hold a conversation with us. The pain is THAT BAD!" So I felt better about that, and for the third time that day, I talked myself out of the funny feeling that my humerus wasn't where it should have been.
Only a couple of minutes later, Kristin came back and told me that they were ready to admit me to be seen by the doctor. Jason and Steve said they'd hang out for a little while to see how things turned out, and I walked back to the exam rooms with Kristin.
Luckily, I was seen nearly immediately. The doctor came in, took Jason's belt off of my left arm, and we eased the gi top off of my left shoulder. I looked down and nearly passed out. The head of my humerus was pushing my skin out about an inch from where these things usually reside. I turned to Kristin, who was doing her best not to look, handed her Jason's belt, and said "I want you to tell Jason three words: 'In Your Face'" There was no talking myself out of this time, the shoulder had come undone. (My understanding from Kristin later was that Jason's response was "Fair enough.")
I had experienced an anterior, inferior (front, low) dislocation of the humerus. It's the most common type of shoulder dislocation, as the weakest part of the particular joint is to the front and down. You can read more about it on WebMD here: http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/shoulder-dislocation.
The doctor let me know that it was appropriate to ask to be seen, and was happy I had been placed ahead some of the other patients in pain. Apparently, there were still people in line in front of me, and when I complained of the pain, they pushed me to the top of the list. I thought again of that ridiculous lady, but I had to let things like that go, after all, they were giving me some interesting pain medications by now. The ceiling became very soft, and I felt as though I could leave an indentation with my fingers, if only my arm would stop growing shorter...
I don't remember much from that point on, the pain and muscle relaxation meds had a mild amnesiac in them. Or maybe I just blacked out a little. I do remember the following:
From there, I had x-rays on my shoulder, and luckily, I had no fractures. I was placed in an immobilizing sling and sent home. I had already had vicodyn left over from my surgery back in April, so I declined getting a prescription. As I walked out of the hospital, I was joined by Jason and Steve, and of course, my lovely fiancee. I told Jason "In your face! I did 10 pushups on a dislocated shoulder!" once again, just in case he didn't get the message, and he laughed and lavished praises of my bad assery, at least that's how I remembered it.
I asked Kristin how the re-setting went, since I didn't recall it. She said I yelled when the doctor moved the joint into position. "I yelled? I don't remember that, and I think I would remember that!" "Oh yes! I watched the doctor, and he moved really fast with his hands, and you were screaming." "Really? Like a little girl?" "Oh no, it was a very masculine scream, sorta like a 'MUUUUUUURRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!'" And I was mollified, although I didn't really like to sound like a demented murloc either. I love my fiancee for telling me I didn't scream like a little girl when, by all logic and reasoning, I had every right and reason to believe I did so.
Steve told me that Jason and Milt had talked it over, and had decided to award me my second degree despite not finishing the test. I had made it to the two thirds mark. I have, so far, declined acceptance of the rank, until I finish my test. I would like to still give the presentation I had prepared of my custom techniques, and perform my kata (Long 5) for the school. So maybe in September after a wedding, honeymoon, and about 2.5 months of healing, I'll finish this test. Just maybe without so many handstands. 2nd Degree - The Straw and the CamelThe public portion of the test is generally the easy part. On Thursday we hit all of the techniques and kata, Fridays are more techniques and kata, as well as the "exercise portion" (as described earlier), Saturday mornings are sparring and Saturday afternoons are showing off. If you make it to Saturday afternoon, you pretty much have the belt. As mentioned in a previous posting, my parents showed up and had brought my 7 year old nephew, Danny, with them. Of course, my fiancee, Kristin, was there for moral support.
So Sifu Dave started the three of us with calisthenics. 100 jumping jacks, but Dave twisted it around. We counted up to 10 jumping jacks, and Dave called out "Ten! That's 10 pushups you want to do?!" So we dropped and did the requested 10 pushups. We got back up and counted the next to to "20", and again Dave shouted "Twenty! That's 20 pushups!" We droppped and did 20 pushups. My mind raced, and I did the math. If he continued in this vein, we'd do 550 pushups total, and I wasn't excited by the number. So, as we counted to "30" I said "28, 29, 10!" But Dave didn't call out pushups this time, we kept doing jumping jacks, and at 40, I again called out "10!" And again, Dave didn't stop us. I thought I was safe at 50, but nope, "That's 50 pushups!" So we dropped and did 50 pushups, got back up and continued doing jumping jacks. At one hundred, Dave had us do 100 pushups.
I'm not bad at pushups, a few months ago, I did a fundraiser to do 2000 pushups over the course of a weekend, and raised about $250 for Family Bridge, a homeless charity. I know I was bushed, though, and I took the 100 pusups slow, doing 20 at a time, relaxing, then another 20. By the time I got to 90 pushups, I was relaxing every 10. But with only 10 left to go, Jason had a suggestion to help me show off, "Do them one handed!" I thought it over, and agreed. I'd do 5 on my left and 5 on my right. I learned a "cheater" one handed pushup pose, where I bring my opposite leg up a bit to help with the weight distribution, and knew I could finish "strong."
I got into pushup position, brought my right leg up, my left arm to the ground and my right behind my back. I lowered myself down, and pushed back up. I was astonished to hear a loud, wet, "kerPOP"; sound, and then was equally suprised to find the karate school floor in my face. Lightning was chewing a tunnel from my shoulder to the tips of my fingers and back again. I lay still for a few seconds, feeling things out, and came to the conclusion that my left shoulder had dislocated. I was not certain, since I've never dislocated a shoulder before, but it was everything I could imagine a dislocation could be, and more!
So I lay there, in a semi-permanent faceplant, and complained somewhat about the pain in my left shoulder and arm. I don't remember the board's exact words, but I remember being encouraged to get up and explore the situation further. So I brought my left arm back to my side, and pulled myself up. I walked calmly over the wall, and ran my left shoulder into said wall about as hard as I could stand. I hit the shoulder several more times with my right hand. The severe pain had stopped, and the feeling of dislocation was gone, although there was still that feeling of electricity in my fingertips, and a general soreness in the entire arm, and, funny enough, my nose where I landed on the mat. Milt came over and checked out my shoulder, and said it felt like it was in place, and I talked myself into believing that it wasn't out in the first place, I must have just pinched a nerve wrong or something.
So I went back and completed my 10 remaining pushups. Although they weren't technically one handed pushups, I bore most of my weight on the right arm, I had completed my 100 (plus the previous 80), sat up, and looked over at my fiancee, who was showing some concern. I slapped my shoulder a few more times, and gave her the thumbs up and a smile. Everything was right with the world again...
...that is until the jumping kicks about 5 minutes later. As near as I can tell, I was "shrugging" my shoulders in an attempt to jump just a little higher, and the shoulder dislocated for the second time. And just like that, I was done, escorted off the deck, and sat down on the waiting room couch with a bag of ice, and an left arm that was 2 inches further forward than it had any right to be. Jamie, who was watching the test, came over and felt around the shoulder capsule, and informed me she didn't feel the "dimple" that's there when the humerus leaves the socket. And again, I talked myself out of believing the arm was out of socket, instead I had a pinched nerve or torn ligament or something. But I just knew I couldn't move my left arm (period).
So, Jason got his belt out, and bound up my left arm to my body, and I was trundled off to Kristin's car to head to immediate care. As my folks left the school behind me, I heard my nephew say, "Is their test really over after pushups? My tests in Poekoelan are much harder than that!"
July 30 2nd degree - Saturday Mornin's Alright For FightingSaturday's schedule went like this: sparring for an hour starting at 9:00am, then the children's test, the adults test, and finally, the black belt tests would begin at noon.
Saturday morning came unusually early for that time of day, and I was nearly late to sparring. As it was, I wasn't the latest to arrive, as Dylan showed up around 9:30. All Black Belts (Testing and non testing) are encouraged to join, as well as dedicated brown belts and lower ranks. This meant Jason, Connor (Caitlin's older brother who had received his black belt about a year before), Jamie (who was to receive her black belt a month later), Zack, Cody (both Junior Black Belts), and, as mentioned, Dylan was a little late, and Dave who also showed up in time for sparring.
We do a variety of sparring drills, from grappling (Jason wrestled in High School and College), boxing (hands only, and complete anathema to kickers such as myself), kicking only (now you're talking!), sparring drills, light and medium contact sparring, and self defense situations.
I'm not the best at fighting, but I can see some improvement in my attitude over sparring. I felt much better about my ability to keep my head under pressure, and do a little better. Sparring is difficult in our school, we have a small room, about the size of the average family room to hold about 5 pairs of people sparring. While sparring with the younger kids, I work hard to give them some targets, and some ideas about how to get points on someone who has reach and strength on them. I don't give up points, but I do give them opportunities to score some. On adults, I don't give up anything (purposefully, as mentioned, I'm not the best fighter in the school).
As a kicker (I also have 1st Dan in Tang Soo Do) in a school full of people who like to use their hands, I have some advantages in my sparring, but Jason and Dave know how to cancel that advantage pretty well. Dave has some pretty incredible kicks himself, and even Jason was backing me off pretty well with his kicks while sparring with him. Either I'm getting more Kenpo, or he's getting more Tang Soo Do. Connor, the 14 year old Junior Black Belt got a great hit across my cheek and nose, causing my eyes to water for a short time, but I got him back a little later with a hit that was much harder than I intended (he shrugged it off, he's tough kid). Dylan, who is somewhat larger than several of the other kids in his class, got to deal with some adults who have some reach and strength on him. It was a different experience for him, but he faced it fearlessly. Caitlin was nervous at first, but I went over some skills with her to improve her ability to brige the gap, and she was noticeably better (and less nervous) by the end of sparring. Overall, I was happy with my performance.
From 10:00 to noon, I worked with Caitlin and Dylan to help them remember their katas, and work on any skills they wanted to "cram" for. I also got to talk a little bit with Dylan's dad, Kirk. I didn't know this, but Kirk was in several movies, including one of my guilty pleasures: "The Last Dragon" (Who is the master? Sho'nuff!) No, Kirk did not play "Sho'Nuff". Kristin had showed up by this time, and I nearly asked her to rush back home to get my copy of the DVD, so he could sign it, but I controlled myself.
The clock, like that bee that won't leave your face, kept buzzing towards noon, and the final, public part of my test. July 17 2nd Degree - In The BeginningI found out the night of the test that Paul, who would be testing for his Shodan, was sick and wouldn't be testing with me. This bummed me out, Paul is an excellent martial artist, and has already missed a few chances at taking a 1st degree test. In my eyes, Milt wasn't happy, of course he'd been stressed about my reluctance to test earlier, and Paul's absence weighed on Milt's demeanor. Jason took it better, though both were less jovial than usual.
Previous to my test, the school taught a total of 187 techniques: 157 are classic Parker techniques (with our spin on them), and 30 of them are Tracy techniques, specifically, the Tracy Shodan requirements. Then, starting in June, we narrowed down the technique list to 110 techniques. We kept the 30 Tracy techniques, as they are Milt's Black Belt rights, and removed about half of the Parker techniques. We found that, although the techniques were being taught, they weren't being explored to the depth we felt they were due in class. By reducing the sheer volume of techniques, we felt we could really dive into the arcana of the remaining techniques, and expose the intelligence beneath. We threw out techniques that are essentially duplicates, and ones that we felt couldn't be safely carried out in today's day and age, or just ones that we knew we'd have trouble teaching (perhaps, we weren't taught them correctly, or learned them from a book without the benefit of a Kenpo senior). I got to the school early on Thursday evening, and took advantage of the time to cram in the last few techniques. For my test, I'd be testing on the new curriculum of 110 techniques, rather than the 187. I had the 110 down pretty well, although I was still slightly hazy about the 30 Tracy techniques. I performed each technique slowly in the air to show accuracy and knowledge, then "hands on" on a rotating cast of brown belts. The nice things about working out with brown belts is they are really gung ho about staring down their black belt, and they couldn't be hurt no matter how hard I hit them (I didn't hit them hard, per se, but I did hit them harder than I usually do in class). Jamie, Joel and Brahm each had their smiles on and a grateful "whoof" or laugh if I got 'em in the right place. I didn't complete the final 20 techniques, as it was getting late, and my instructors wanted to get to kata.
After finishing off the night with kata (short 1, long 1, short 2, long 2, short 3, long 3, bassai, mass attack, bookset and long 4), I headed home and got some good sleep. Friday's test was supposed to be much more fitness oriented. I'd finish the final 20 techniques, perform long 5, and the torture would begin. I'd also be joined by the two Junior Black Belt candidates, Caitlin and Dylan.
So, lucky for the three of us, the torture began when we first started Friday night. Jason pulled the three of us together, and said the three of us were going to do all of the kata for our belt levels, we'd be going in turns, with, for exampe, Caitling doing long 2, Dylan doing bookset, and me doing bassai. The children's curriculum didn't include bassai, long 4 or long 5, so I was guaranteed those spots, while Dylan and Caitlin divvied up the remaining katas. The catch? If anyone messes up their kata, we'd all be doing them over again from the beginning. We had some rough starts, and I got to do bassai (my first kata) three times before we got through to the end.
After that was some entertaining calisthenics, including handstand pushups (for me), cartwheels for all of us, pushup position while listing as many "karate terms" as we could, (remember there were children in this test, so it was appropriate for them...), ukemi rolls, round offs, and cart stops (cartwhells where you stop half way up, and I think I succeeded in doing exactly, oh, none of them). My upper body was taking a beating though, and I knew I would sleep well that night.
Some sparring and "situation handling" began between Milt and I. Milt likes to see how people react to unexpected situations, and I was good, stressed and winded by the time he was done.
The three of us each got to spend some time talking about some "martial arts concept". Caitlin talked about getting a person into an arm bar, while Dylan discussed and demonstrated throwing an opponent (Jason). I decided to do my discourse on getting out of holds. I borrowed Caitlin, the most diminutive of us three, and demonstrated how someone very small, could use appropriate leverage and a little intellect to get out of a grip from someone several times stronger than her. Using Dylan, I showed the use of explosiveness in action to assist in getting out of hold, (moving with strength, but slowly, generally means you won't get out). I then borrowed Jamie, who put me into an arm bar. I demonstrated the use of strength in holds, how they work against someone who is not in a position of strength, while the goal is to get into that position. By using "explosiveness", I ran ahead of the hold, turned to bring Jamie into my strength, then reversed the hold on her, using the same leverage she was using on me. This was pretty well received by the parents of Dylan and Caitlin, who liked seeing their kids effectively doing some of these things on us adults.
Saturday would bring more sparring, and the "public portion" of our test. I was excited, my nephew, who was in Poekoelan would be coming and watching, and I would get to show off a bit. July 01 2nd Degree - Prequiem For a DreamPlease forgive me for any typo's, I'm writing this entry (plus the next few) right handed. Details will follow. If they seem a bit left brained, consider the source. In the week before my second degree black belt test, I felt I wasn't prepared. I had told Milt and Jason, a.k.a. my teachers and friends. There was some backlash. Milt felt I should've brought it up earlier (and he is correct). But I had some things in mind, and I had personal goals that I hadn't yet reached. Here is a brief summary of my goals that I had hoped to acheive, along with current status (note these are revised-abridged from the goals I stated previously): Bench Press 250 lbs : Best I could do so far (on the Nautilus) is 210. My actual requirements from the school for 2nd degree were to learn Long 5 and prepare 30 techniques of my own while maintaining attendence and teaching standards. I didn't have as much instruction for Long 5 as I would have liked, but I have a reasonable understanding of it. I completed writing the techniques the day before the test began. My techniques consisted of actual scripted techniques and drills to assist in skill development. They weren't fantastic, but they were as original as I could develop... Many drills and techniques built on previous ones, I had hoped to make a natural and logical progression. So, Milt and Jason, concerned with my hesitance to test, did the best they could to ensure I keep my agreement to test: they took me to dinner. They listened attentively to my arguments, and presented their own, basically, they felt I should be 2nd degree. I appreciated that they listened to me. The words of O-Sensei Philip Porter kept running through my head: "Never ask for rank, never refuse rank." I don't know what it was that swayed me in the end, but I took a night to think about it, and agreed to test as scheduled on June 28th. Next entry: the first two days of the test. |
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